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I'm starting to feel caged again.





I despise that feeling.

It makes the world go round. If we're friends harassment is a given. Though I keep telling the dirty old man who works overnight with me that he doesn't want any of what I bring to the table. He thinks I'm joking when I tell him I'd kick him in the balls hog tie him and leave him in the closet overnight. Poor clueless bastard.

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:32 Jun 26 2013

Heh. He would be in for a shock then! But maybe he would like that!

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:43 Jun 26 2013

Heh. He would be in for a shock then! But maybe he would like that!

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From Deadmau5, to Cole Porter, to Train, and now Rob Zombie... I'm musically indecisive tonight.



My coworker said the name of a customer tonight, 'thank you Mr. ----' and what it sounded like she said was something completely different. The conversation that followed was this:



Me: dude.. you don't even want to know what it sounded like you called that guy.



her: what? No, really tell me.



Me: Think crude word that starts with a P.



Her: what, penis?



Me: uh, no... think opposite of penis



Her: What's the opposite of penis?



Me: o.0 *waits for it*



Her: I don't get it. What's the opposite of penis.



Me: O_o *waits for it*



Her: Ooooh, Ohhhhhh hahaha I was thinking vagina.



Me: well, yes but no. I was hoping it would click so I wouldn't have to explain it. =/







o.o lordy.. sometimes I want to bang my head on solid objects.

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Lullaby
09:57 Jun 26 2013

This is what happens when you're dirtier than your colleagues? :P

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PhoenicianDream
13:18 Jun 26 2013

Oh honey, I take the cake on pervalicious here. Hah.

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Lullaby
13:42 Jun 26 2013

You and your violet wand... :P

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PhoenicianDream
09:51 Jun 27 2013

haha the wand is WC's speciality, not mine.



I just happen to like it... a lot.

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What I wouldn't give for a killer massage right about now.

There's only a few things more invigorating than a cold shower in the desert.





now if only it were followed by fornication and a scalp massage





haha don't mind me I'm just daydreaming

Tonight alone we've discussed:



Bra grabbing

ball grabbing

balls dropping in the toilet

balls getting pinched in the toilet seat

black and blue balls

psychotic exes

phone sex

sex toys

and food



o.0 and it's only halfway through the shift



heh

Has anyone else seen a preview for the show Pretty Wicked Moms?



What... the fuck.. was that?



Crazy bitches. O_O

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PhoenicianDream
09:47 Jun 04 2013

http://youtu.be/fJjT1X8cB3c



Insane

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Vestige
09:50 Jun 04 2013

WTF?

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PhoenicianDream
10:12 Jun 04 2013

I know, right! They'll put anything on tv.

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Lullaby
11:13 Jun 04 2013

That made me laugh so hard.

Reminds me of Shazza from "Housos".

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It's not you it's me. O.o no wait, it is you..



find someone else to perv on





I have no desire to be one of many sources for your cyber fantasies. No I will not cyber with you, no I will not send you pics, no I do not want to be part of your spank bank full of online hussies, no I do not  like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am.



I have a life, a very busy one. I don't have time for online smutty bullshit with people who are not tangible. I'm sure there's a plethora of bored skanks that would be happy to accommodate you. I am not one of them.

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LycanElite
02:58 Jun 04 2013

...



But didn't you know you could eat them on a boat? Or even in a coat? You can eat them in a lake, eat 'em with birthday cake, eat 'em up at Hoover Dam, won't you please try my green eggs and ham?

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My mom doesn't like sad or depressing movies. I couldn't convince her to watch Les Miserables. So I offered to give her my summed up moral of the story. She knew what she was in for when I offered, but she couldn't resist. I let her know that the movie could be summed up in 3 points.



1. Don't bother being part of a revolution because you're going to fucking die.



2. You can sell your teeth, and you can sell your hair, but if you sell your vagina you're going to die.



3. Whatever you do for the love of god don't steal a loaf of bread because that shit will haunt you for the rest of your life.



There you go. Les Mis in a nutshell, more or less.